This thought-provoking question was offered at the beginning of a yoga therapy training that I have undertaken recently as a student. It’s wonderful as a teacher to be put back in the position of a student again. I have always loved learning and credit this insatiable curiosity for knowledge as the key to fueling my passion and sustenance as a teacher.
Here are some of the thoughts I jotted down in response to the above question and I sincerely encourage you to do the same. Get out a piece of paper and explore what this practice means to you, dear reader. Give it some thought and time to percolate; you might be surprised by what comes up for you.
What Yoga Means to Me:
Developing Relationship to Self
- Over 25 years of practice with varying levels of commitment (at least in the early years) there has always been something about yoga that pulls me back in. A thread or through-line that remains; a desire to connect with myself. To build relationship with myself, to develop self-awareness, to be kinder, to touch something closer to essence or spirit.
- I think yoga can mean many things and the practice perhaps serves different purposes for different people at different times. Like any long-term practice, it has seasons. Creativity, motivation and inspiration wax and wane like the moon, and the content and style of the practice has changed much over the years for me.
Emotional Sanctuary and Resilience
- At its most practical level yoga has been a means of maintaining and managing my physical and mental health – whether that’s mobility, nervous system regulation, stress resilience, strength and body awareness.
- Yoga has been a means to calm the beast of anxiety, explore the dark ache of depression and sit with the numbness of sadness and loss. At times like these I appreciate its intense practicality, the tools that take me out of the overwhelm and stagnancy of an unhappy mind and into the safer and easier to navigate (for me) realm of sensations, postures, breathing exercises.
- These practices act like mini life-rafts that I can find sanctuary and solace from when everything feels uncertain, unknown and uncomfortable.
- Through these practices I give myself back agency and choice – I can not know what life has around the corner and I recognise my limited capacity in the wheel of fate, but on my mat I am empowered by my ability to choose and that is huge.
Physical Embodiment and Acceptance
- My physicality has always been very important to me – my body, my connection to it, my sense of it, has played a huge role in my life. Yoga has been a means through which I can really harness and develop that connection – through embodiment I feel it enriches my life, my ability to touch and express joy, to savour, to find pleasure and sensuality, as well as to process pain, to be with the visceral experience of emotions without trying to suppress them or push them away.
- This practice has given me a safe sanctuary to explore all this – from the most mundane pursuits such as keeping mobile hips, to a soft quiet space that I can retreat to when times are dark and tough and the only place to go is inward.
- I hope to offer this practice as a sanctuary to my students too – my heartfelt desire is that they gain from it whatever it is they need, without judgement or my own personal bias and predilections. The pursuit of physical fitness is as worthy a pursuit in my eyes, as the desire to connect to a deeper level of conscious awareness. In fact, I truly believe one can seek both, they are not mutually exclusive.
Returning to Presence (again and again)
- I would also humbly suggest that the word yoga is something more akin to a verb than a noun – that it is describing a quality of being, a state of attention or absorption perhaps in line with the flow state. A quality of attention that could be brought to any action.
- I struggle deeply with this and feel that as such, I am still very much in the infancy of this practice. I find it hard sometimes to transmit what I practice and explore on my mat into daily living. My brain is always at least 2 feet in front, always ahead scanning the horizon and predicting/planning/overthinking. Fear causes me to constantly project and anticipate about what is to come and often the only thing that roots me in the here and now is a physical, timeless experience such as yoga.
A Reminder – Everything is Connected, We are all One
- My struggle to stay present is also matched by my frequent forgetting of the connection of all things. Something that yoga philosophy reminds us of frequently. I see and understand this connection in rudimentary and unsophisticated ways such as the connection between my calves and my lower back, or the butterfly effect of my actions rippling out and affecting others.
- I also find awe in the notion that we are all made of stardust. But I still find myself frequently forgetting this fact in life – I feel my separateness, my loneliness, my longing for meaningful connection that at times feels so absent. My practice at times has made me feel even more insular and even more introverted, and yet as I get older I recognise that ultimately meaning is found in life through relationship with others, through sharing, through connection. Finding the balance between my desire for introversion and retreat must be balanced with the very real need for sangha and community. Perhaps this is the next stage of my yoga journey.








